Goodbyes r something that i am geniuely bad at , try as hard as i can to be strong yet a mere goodbye to some for me is the most dreadful thought ever, i just hate the word well now imagine this in normal circumstances when we do bid adieu to our loved ones we do so knowing they will return don't we ?,hoping beyond hope that theres always a next time But what if there is no next time........
its a scary thought indeed i agree that ceased to exist in mind till this very evening well i used to go this old age home "sharan" (thats the name of the place) well yes it started of as part of our social work credit for college but later i just fell in love with the inhabitants here ,i mean till a few weeks ago there were just uncle from 107 or the aunty from room 103 but gradually through the zillion gossip and carrom sessions, to the many walks we had in the garden to the random tv surfing we struck a bond , a bond which was a mixture of friendship,that of being a parent and even a grandparent at times its now when i look back i know what i have lost indeed it was the most incredible and special bond that ever existed , its at this very place i met some really "divine" souls but of all of them i was really close to santha aunty there was something about her that made you fall in love with her she was such a beautiful lady in every true sense of the word .
She intially did come across as very shy and reticent but few weeks into knowing aunty lol she gave me hard competition when it came to yakking (no kidding!) from her kids to grandkids , to remincing her good old days as a kid to her courtship days with her hubby to her love marriage to her first day at work we had yakked it all , then when we were left with no more past stories we zoomed into the present and future from today's tv serials to actors courting younger women to maritians we did that too....
just sitting there in her room watching the pitter patter of the rain seeing it cleanse the dirt laden grounds or just sitting in her room that chilly winter eveing wishing for hot cuppa of chai it was these little things that i will miss the most funny isn't it that day when i went to meet santha aunty she was very ill but she was exicted to see me after such a long time we chatted like long lost friends and then as i got up to leave and said the most dreaded goodbye i gave her big hug "knowing" she will recover soon after all santha aunty fallen ill before and recovered shes a fighter it didnt rouble me much well not until today (a good 2months since she passed away) when i went there again to see her was just dying to meet her , waiting to feel her motherly warmth just rushed into her room only to find someone else there wait, was this a mistake no how can it be this is the room?? these were the first thoughts in my mind it took me while to calm down and when i did the news of her death broken to me i just sat there lost and numb least expecting this i sat on her chair imaging her sit there and watch tv, all along was hoping was just a dream and santha aunty still alive and she would come in through that very door and hug me and ..............................
why does this happen?? when you least expected it , things won't be the same at sharan without her its difficult aunty knowing i will see you no longer but i promise to continue and meet many more incredible people like you my only regret is i didnt get to see for one last time and give you the biggest hug but then again am glad i didnt coz if i knew it was the last time am seeing you it would be even harder to say goodbye ,i will miss you aunty i certainly will.
1 comment:
what comment am i to leave here, other than to say i am overwhelmed to know my great friend is also a true lover of people.
i am honored to have you as a friend.
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